Hate Myself !!!!

Why am I so terrible??? anything i also don dare to do....like that, how am i to be succeed???? how can i to be a biotechnologist or scientist??? hate myself....disappointing on myself....

Today is moon cake festival...i am not able to go back home...haiz...but i have friends here to be with me....we planned to do one small experiment.....What is going to happen if we put the mentos candy into a bottle of coke??? This small experiment makes me whether am i suitable to be a scientist....i feel scared to do that experiment....i suspect my ability....because i can't even close to it and stand far away from it...am i a stupid rubbish person??? Am i suitable to study science or biotechnology???

Besides, i wanted to record the video of the experiment...because of scare, i don't even dare to close to the bottle of the experiment....i can't get a good video on it....another rubbish i am.....I really feel guilty on it...i wasted my friends time to do the experiment and caused them can't get the good video...I really want to give myself a big kick and punch..I M RUBBISH...Recording a video is a easy job but why can't i do well???

I really hate myself....Hate myself why i have a slow reaction....hate myself why m i so stupid....hate myself why can't i do well in a small matter.....This kind of stupid fellow like me, why will i be in this world??? HATE HATE HATE....