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This is the end of this semester after i finished my mcb final exam yesterday...this sem is fun and not so stress compared to last sem....and i hope can get a high grade for mcb so that can get a better CGPA....Because of last failure, i change my study for this semester and it really works...This sem i learn some new experience in my life...i know how to have a better study way...
Yesterday after our final exam, everyone felt relax and we planned to go Bukit Bintang for Jogoya Japanese Buffet....Include bestie ryan, bestie komalaa, ice, kah yuong, victor, nicole, longwin, lyence, hao siang and tien pui....Total was 11 persons include me...exclude one of my good friend, Melanie...bcos she was having her final exam...long time din come out in big group oredy...i felt very excited and i was so damn happy.....OMG..Jogoya is so nice...it will not lose to the buffet that i tried in orchard, singapore...Jogoya is very standard...It made me become more elegant....hahahahaha...i m just kidding...haha...This was my first time to go Jogoya...It gives me a different feeling towards life..Enjoyable life just like feeling myself was in the heaven....hahahaha...I ate a lot of sushi, sashimi, deep fried, ice cream and some other foods...Everything was nice...i love Haagen-Dazs ice cream....OMG...There has different kinds of food....such as japanese style, chinese cuisine, teppanyaki, and others...drinks include, blended, cocktail, hot drinks and others...the nicest food for me is UNAGI...MY FAVOURITE...it was so nice....I should try more on it but that time was too full....haiz...hope everyone enjoys the food at there...and had a nice time with each other...After that, we went to pavilion and walk around bcos it is jz nearby...First time been there..it is very nice ....i bought a boshini shirt that was i love it very very much....and bought three earings...one for my elder sis, one for my younger sis and one for myself...hehe...the night view of there is quite nice and attractive...From this trip, i feel very happy...bcos my new classmates, they all are so friendly and truly to make friend...very sincere.. this sem, i feel no stress at all when study with them....they are always helping each other..learn together...have fun together...This is what i called classmates...I will truly appreciate this 'one in thousand' friendship....SOMEMORE, i can study together & enjoy my life together with my bestie, komalaa and ryan....i won't regret that why i cant do well in last sem...i jz will think that this is the time for me to change and learn something new...and know this group of classmates...now i know that what i want is a normal life...not interupt by other things include love....Hope that next semester we can go out together again ...we can sing karaoke together and have fun....this will be very nice....
P/S: There are many photos about this trip....Everyone who added my facebook can have a look on it...hehe...
YEAH!!!! next week is our final exam...this time, i think i will not have any problem with the passing of mcb....n my target is B....impossible to get A....hahahaha....After final, SEM BREAK is coming.....wooohooooo!!!!! happy happy...i din go back to my home for long time ....home sick oh...hahahaha....before go back home, we must enjoy our life...maybe going to some places....maybe watch some movies and shopping....see first...haha...as long as i can enjoy...hahaha...spend money too....haiz...Now it is the time for me to study for my final....i must be more hardworking....so that i can get what i want...haha....GOGOGO....
最近，我有一点不知道怎么办。。。突然之间，满欣赏一个人，但还没有到喜欢的程度，只是单纯的欣赏，觉得他很强和聪明。。。我又在想太多了。。又开始自己一厢情愿的想太多。。很讨厌自己这一个缺点。。。我不知道将来我会不会喜欢上这个人，但我希望不要。。。原因很简单，因为我不敢。。也许是我太没用了。。。我不敢再承受另一个打击。。我不敢再投入任何的感情在任何人身上。。。我怕我又会遇到像上一次的情况，到了那时候，我真的会承受不住，可能笑容会从我的脸上消失。。。因为这样，所以我不要喜欢上那个人。。。趁现在还早。。。我也配不上那个人。。他是多么的厉害。。。我刚刚一听到他的名字，心里怪怪的，看到他，也会有点不大敢看。。.但是有时候看到他，我会笑得很开心。。。但我想，我不能再继续这样了。。不要让自己越陷越深。。。好怕好怕。。我也希望自己再听到他的名字，不要有任何冲动的反应。。该不该喜欢上他？？如果喜欢上了，我觉得是一种罪。。。因为在不久前，自己的心情才恢复。。趁现在还早，我应该紧急刹车。。。
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......i m so stressed....i dreamt about i got a test on the day and i couldn't answer one of the question of it....OH MY GODsh....i am really too worried about the test...i want to shout...i am going to become crazy....keep on studying....very scared about this test 2....i don know why....not a good feeling....who can save it???? Hope God bless me....All the best to it....
Why am I so terrible??? anything i also don dare to do....like that, how am i to be succeed???? how can i to be a biotechnologist or scientist??? hate myself....disappointing on myself....Today is moon cake festival...i am not able to go back home...haiz...but i have friends here to be with me....we planned to do one small experiment.....What is going to happen if we put the mentos candy into a bottle of coke??? This small experiment makes me whether am i suitable to be a scientist....i feel scared to do that experiment....i suspect my ability....because i can't even close to it and stand far away from it...am i a stupid rubbish person??? Am i suitable to study science or biotechnology??? Besides, i wanted to record the video of the experiment...because of scare, i don't even dare to close to the bottle of the experiment....i can't get a good video on it....another rubbish i am.....I really feel guilty on it...i wasted my friends time to do the experiment and caused them can't get the good video...I really want to give myself a big kick and punch..I M RUBBISH...Recording a video is a easy job but why can't i do well??? I really hate myself....Hate myself why i have a slow reaction....hate myself why m i so stupid....hate myself why can't i do well in a small matter.....This kind of stupid fellow like me, why will i be in this world??? HATE HATE HATE....
自己身边的朋友有一些烦恼。。。身为朋友的我，其实满担心他的。。。怕他因此迷失自己，找不到自己该走的路。。。谈了一谈，总觉得自己很幸运，因为自己遇到的问题其实不多，烦恼也比别人少。。我在我的朋友身上看到了很多我以前没有看到的东西。。。最重要的一点就是 “迷惘”。。。为什么人有时候会迷惘？？？是因为什么因素？？家庭？爱情？？ 以我的看法，是这个因素。。。人往往会因为一些刺激，而遇到瓶颈，然后就迷惘。。。他们不知道自己该怎么做。。。由于迷惘，就做了一些让自己不满意，甚至不开心的决定。。。这样还叫生命吗？？人应该走自己的路。。。为自己而活最重要。。。盲从的跟着别人的意思走，这样生命就没有意义了。。。爱情真的是一个棘手的问题。。。事情每次都有正反面。。。爱情可以让人迷失自己，甚至改变自己原本的本质。。。它会让人瞬间成长，变成熟。。。它可以是甜蜜的。。它也会使笑容慢慢地从一个人的脸上消失。。。多残忍啊。。。我终于看到笑容了。。这是做朋友最想看到的。。。希望是发自内心的开心笑容，而不是要在我面前故作坚强。。。放下一切，用时间来抚平心里的伤口。。。不要再迷惘了。。不要想太多。。。其实答案就在心里，只有自己最清楚。。。在我的潜意识里，开心的心和笑容就是抚平心中的痛最好的良药。。。我办到了。。你也可以。。。加油。。。
Happy Birthday to me & my blog....Last 23 Sept 2009 was my 19th birthday and my blog' s 1st birthday....hahahaha....but now too late to wish myself n write new post here....haha...
On 23 Sept 2009, my best friends (150 club) & my family celebrated a wonderful birthday to me....i was really appreciate and happy....I feel so touched because i know that there are a lot of people that care about me....that is enough for me.....really contented ....
JX, YF, WW and I went to sing k and shopping...crazy on that day...hahaha....high in the red box...jump jump jump....so fun....after tat, we went to city square....took a photo ...edit photos...fun...They gave me surprise...They brought the present from pontian to JB and gave me my favourite cake --> new york cheese cake from secret recipe....really touched my heart....thank u very much to them...
When i back home, my family put a cake on the table...which is tiramisu...that is also my favourite...hahaha...i love cakes....Somemore, my grandsparent, aunt and my elder sister gave me ang pow...my mother bought fried chicken and we had a party at home...my younger sister and brother gave me present too.....They all really care about me....every year sure celebrate my birthday...hahahahaha...
At here, I really want to say billion times thank you to my family and friends....when i face any problem, they are beside me....never give up me....i promise...i will do my best...i will be myself...will not feel sad anymore....I love you all....^^
Long time i din write in english .....now suddenly i feel like i want to write it...last week, i was unhappy because of something that happened on...I will let it go....i won't let this kind of troublesome thing to make me blur and sad...
YEAH....raya break is coming...it is also my 19th birthday...23/09...actually this is a study week for inti students...but where got people wants to study in holiday....hahahaha....for me, initial plan is i wanted to go singapore bcos my aunt asked me to celebrate my 19th birthday there...but i changed my mind....bcos this holiday is quite short and a bit rush for me ....so maybe go on christmas time...hehe...
We, 150 clubs members are going to JB for shopping and singing karaoke on my birthday day....i can't wait it ....i m so excited wan to go....cos long time we din sing together and go shopping together....i must take a lot of photos as a memorable event...Thank you for JX, YF, WW, and TT.....We must sing until the wall of the Red Box got crack...hahahaha...
I really can't wait ...too excited....my 19 is coming...i got some wishes wan to wish myself....hope all my wishes can come true...
今天一早就和我在 inti 的好朋友去 mid valley 看电影。。电影很好看。。满好笑的。。还有今天早上一睡醒，就到厕所吐了，可能是前一晚喝太多水。。。1 ice blended longan, 1 coca-cola, 和 1 teh tarik。。。哈哈。。今天的我，真的很不对劲。。心里闷闷的。。。这是我第一次在 mid valley 玩得这么不开心。。。有些事情一直困扰着我。。我真的不知道该怎么做。。。每一个人都有自己的烦恼。。。我和一个朋友在今天的聚会不是很开心。。。因为我们都被某些烦恼困扰着。。。我们很辛苦。。很烦恼。。。想着想着，突然想到五月天的一首歌 “你不是真正的快乐”。。。好像在讲述着我的心情。。。把那个‘你’ 换成 ‘我’。。。我承认我真的受伤了。。。需要时间慢慢的来恢复。。你不是真正的快乐 - 五月天人群中哭着 你只想变成透明的颜色 你再也不会梦或痛或心动了你已经决定了 你已经决定了你静静忍着 紧紧把昨天在拳心握着而回忆越是甜就是越伤人 越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳这世界笑了 于是你合群的一起笑了 当生存是规则 不是你的选择于是你含着眼泪飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞地走着你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合我站在你左侧 却像隔着银河 难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了 然后才后悔着你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合我站在你左侧 却像隔着银河 难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了你值得真正的快乐 你应该脱下你穿的保护色为什么失去了 还要被惩罚呢 能不能就让悲伤全部结束在此刻 重新开始活着
新的学期开始了。。我这次一定要比以前还考的好。。我保证。。。周遭环境改变很多。。我的心有改变吗？我的心态有改变吗？？这是个谜。。。连我自己也解不开的谜团。。。
最近，有点为周遭的朋友感到开心。。。但我觉得自己好像没有像自己想象的这么强。。。我慢慢发现了自己的脆弱。。。可能在朋友面前，我就像是个开心的人，但我心里好像不是。。。我觉得自己很差劲。。真的好想给自己一把掌。。。打醒自己。。。
我说过，唱歌是我最开心的一个兴趣。。可能以前比较单纯，没有了解歌词的意境，所以没感觉。。。但刚刚的我，有很深刻的体会和感觉。。。我刚唱的歌，很多我感觉到很真实。。其实刚刚的我，不是累，而是在想着东西，所以脸部表情有点臭。。希望我刚刚一起唱歌的朋友能体谅。。
其实我应该要开心的，但总觉得不对劲，心里怪怪的，有点低落。。请给我多一一点的时间，让我恢复，现在的我有点不能面对，但我知道这是一个事实。。每唱到一句歌词，都会想到不该想的人。。为什么？？
“拿得起，放得下”，这句话，我说得容易，做起来真的很难。。。就让时间来抚平我心里的创伤。。我需要多久？？一个月，一年，或十年？？是个未知数。。
投入太多的情感，就会伤得越重。。。我领悟了这个道理。。。也活生生的应验了。。也导致了我对感情的信心与信任。。。我没有信心再去喜欢一个人。。。对我满伤的。。心理满痛的。。自认自己坚强但其实不是。。。我太执著了。。
我知道写这篇文章，有点过火了。。会伤到某些人。。。对不起。。可是我真的好想把这一个感觉写下来，就当作是纪念吧。。。看到这篇文章的朋友，请原谅我的自私。。。
突然间脑海里出现了我的最爱 “ 林宥嘉 ” 的 “我爱的人” 这首歌，我也不知道为什么。。。也许是一些感触吧。。。也该回到现实了。。。
林宥嘉 - 我爱的人
我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会 遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了他的人生
成家立业之类的等等
他做了他觉得对的选择
我只好 祝福他真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢
我爱的人 不是我的爱人
他心里每一寸都属于另一个人
他真幸福 幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨他的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人 他已有了爱人
从他们的眼神 说明了我不可能
每当听见他或她说“我们”
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声
最近的心情虽然有点紧绷（考试将近），但是我还是觉得比以前开心。。。可能因为慢慢的在习惯当中。。。今天有点愉快，看了自己 cfes 的 junior 们的 presentation。。。观后感呢？？该怎么说。。他们有的还是很紧张。。。但有一些真的是蛮厉害的。。。很镇定。。临危不乱。。今天我和同学朋友们也聊得蛮开心的。。。哈哈。。。最出乎意料的是我有一个 lecturer，竟然答应了我一个要求。。有一点点吓到。。因为我以为她不会答应我的要求。。。哈哈哈哈。。。我简直是乐翻了。。让我能无忧无虑的去新加坡。。参加我小表弟的生日派对。。。哈哈哈哈。。。说到这里，真的很开心。。很久没有看到小睿睿了。。就要到他的两岁生日了。。祝他生日快乐，快高长大。。。看到他，我就觉得自己有点老。。哈哈。。这个星期五，就要坐火车到新加坡了，每次去我都是坐巴士，这次第一次坐火车耶。。新体验。。又可以看到我的家人了。。好迫不及待哦。。。真想快点看到他们。。。好想念他们哦。。。但又觉得有一点对不起他们，因为自己在这几次的考试中，成绩都不理想。。。我相信这个周末又会是一个开心的周末了。。。会尽量拍多一点照片的。。我这次一定要记得带照相机。。。哈哈哈。。
